For about a month now I've had a tarp and a layer of gently-used straw in the back of my car. We brought all 'the kids' up to my Mom's in Montgomery on January 1st for a late Christmas celebration and I never cleaned out the car after we returned home the next day. At the time it was just from sheer laziness, then I reasoned that we'd have to bring May down to the breeder soon so we might as well leave it. But now that she's been bred and I have no current plans to cart my girls around I have no excuse.
But I'm going to tell you a secret:
I do have an excuse- I just like it there.
I got out of work Monday afternoon in a less than perfect mood. It had been a long day and I was bummed about the rain which was spoiling my plans for the evening. I trudged out to my car and as soon as I opened the door to escape the 'liquid sunshine' so intent on permeating my jacket, I was greeted by the smell wafting out of my car. The hay and used straw had been steeping in the confined space of my small vehicle and the relative heat from the past few days had exponentially increased the aroma. It's a sweet smell that strikes a chord in my heart. That heavenly smell brings me back to childhood days in the horse barn with my Mom and reminds me of the beautiful things that I am a part of now.
It is so easy for me to get stressed and anxious (trust me, I do it all the time: I'm an expert) but when I think of the life we are bringing to our farm and the potential we are creating from our own hands, it brings me such peace and happiness. Taking care of so many lives and running our home is no easy task. We worry about sickness and disease. Are our goats going to have healthy pregnancies and will their kidding be easy? Will our garden be successful this year or will we continue to have to buy our produce? We worry about things that would keep some people from venturing into a life like ours at all.
Things that used to seem so important are so trivial now; homesteading will do that to you. It brings you back to earth and shows you in black and white what life is. Its never easy and I can tell you for sure that we've still got a long way to go and a lot to learn, but I love it. I love my life, and I love my dirty, straw-ridden car that smells like the barn.